8 posts tagged “breastfeeding”

I changed my facebook profile photo to support the M.I.L.C Campaign to highlight that breastfeeding is not obscene. I thought I'd share the photo over here as well. Enjoy!

FeedingEmma

I got my first postpartum period recently. So, I'm starting my first month of Natural Family Planning. I'm a little nervous and a little excited about it. I've read two books and taken a course. I should be able to do this, right? I will say that I was pretty sure when I was about to start my period this go around by noticing the body signs stuff I learned through NFP. My prediction was only off by one day (early) for when I would start. Not too bad for someone who has never done this. I decided to use the rules in The Art of Natural Family Planning book, but use the chart from Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm kind of bummed my postpartum amenorrhea didn't last longer, but I will admit that I did (do) use a pacifier and I didn't get to have a daily nap-feeding as often as I would have liked, which are both things that help extend your natural infertility after giving birth. For those of you interested here's the full list:

1. Do exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life; don't use other liquids and solids.
2. Pacify your baby at your breasts.
3. Don't use bottles and pacifiers.
4. Sleep with your baby for night feedings.
5. Sleep with your baby for a daily-nap feeding.
6. Nurse frequently day and night, and avoid schedules.
7. Avoid any practice that restricts nursing or separates you from your baby.
source: The Art of Natural Family Planning by John F. Kippley and Sheila K. Kippley

This go around I was really trying to avoid the pacifier. Not because I think it's bad for the kid, but really because I was interested in prolonging my postpartum amenorrhea. And, I thought, it doesn't harm her by not having a pacifier (some would argue it actually benefits her to not have a pacifier). I tried, I really tried, but as strange as it may seem, there were times that she did not want to be pacified at the breast and in a moment of desperation I gave her a pacifier and she liked it. So I would remove the pacifier and try to give her the breast, and she would cry again. I tried that a number of times, but had the same outcome. So, I figured, I understand what I'm doing and there are worse things in life than having your period come back early.

I've got a boob infection from a bite, which broke the skin, made by certain little girl who recently got teeth. I called the doctor this morning in an effort to relieve my concern. Actually, I called two doctor offices, my OB/GYN and my family practice. I was pitting them against each other. I planned on following the instructions from whichever one was going to tell me I didn't have to come in. They both told me to come in TODAY. I ended up going to my family practice doc and she gave me some antibiotics to take. I feel like I'm back in the early days of nursing when I had curl your toes pain when the baby first latched on. Yeah, ouch!

Recently I've had the pleasure of being around a number of people who are about to or have just recently embarked into the realm of new parenthood. Naturally, I'm thrilled for them, but I find myself having to choke back the words of unsolicited advice. The problem is I remember how much I hated unsolicited advice and I'm trying really hard not to be that person, but I swear it's a compulsion. I almost can't help but to spill out all sort of information I wish I knew when I was in their spot. So, in an effort to purge myself of the urge to dole out unsolicited advice, I'm just going to write it all down here. If it's useful to you, wonderful, I'm thrilled to be helpful. If not, that's ok too. You do what's right for your family.

Labor

• If an unmedicated labor is something that you want, it's a good idea to try to surround yourself with people who have your same ideas and not people who will be offering pain medication (unsolicited) at every contraction.
  
• Also, one of the most painful positions to be in (which hospitals love to put you in) is what I call the "dead cockroach" position of lying flat on your back. Don't do it (or at least try to be in that position as little as possible) or you will loose your marbles because of how painful it is. Sit up, stand up, squat, rock, whatever you need to do to mitigate the pain, but lying on your back is a bad idea as far as dealing with pain.
  
• However, pain medicine is not the devil. Labor is extremely painful and you do what you need to do to get through it with a healthy mom and healthy baby. If you need it, take it.
• Once you are past the 35/36 week mark don't rush off to the hospital at the first sign of labor. For most people with full term babies the first labor is really long. Once you go to the hospital they put you on sort of a time table and if you don't progress the way they think you should, you could end up with a c-section for "failure to progress". If you labor at home as long as possible, you shorten your hospital labor time and by the time you get there you seem to be "progressing nicely".
• BEFORE the 35/36 week mark, DO RUSH off to the doctor/hospital if you suspect pre-term labor. I went in at least once for each one of my kids. Sometimes I was genuinely showing signs of pre-term labor and sometimes not. I always joked that I needed an extra tour of the Labor and Delivery unit before each of my kids births. Taking care of a preemie is no joke every and every moment in the womb helps.
  
• A c-section is always a real possibility that you should prepare for, so that you won't freak out if it happens to you.  Focus on healthy mom and healthy baby, but at the same time it's ok to be sad if the birth doesn't go the way you wanted. Being sad the birth didn't go the way you wanted doesn't make you bad parents or mean you love your child any less.
• Assuming the baby is healthy and term, don't rush out to talk to the family immediately after the baby is born. They've waited this long, they can wait another 30 minutes to an hour while you have some quiet first moments with your baby. You can never have those first moments back, family can wait.

• At very least try breastfeeding. Listen, I'm raising my hand as someone who has struggled with breastfeeding and has formula fed. I know what it is like to be up in the middle of the night, feeling completely alone, bleary eyed, in extreme pain from a bad latch with a screaming baby that you desperately want to feed. I've been there. I guess my breastfeeding advice is more of ways to avoid getting to that point. Do try breastfeeding. Any breastfeeding you can give your baby is a good thing.
  
• The first thing you want to do with your baby when you first hold him/her is not meet your friends and family, but is to try to breastfeed. Remember those first quiet moments I talked about, breastfeeding is one of the things you want to do in those moment.
• Lanolin is your friend! In the beginning use it after every feeding to prevent soreness (or worse). Use it compulsively after every feeding until you are super certain that you and baby have established a good latch and breastfeeding is going well (1-2 months at least). Although lanolin does provide some relief after you've developed sore, crack, etc. nipples, in my opinion it works much better as a preventive measure.
  
• In the early days be prepared to nurse, nurse, nurse. Just go ahead and resign yourself that at this point in time you are a milk maid and don't fight it. Throw out ideas like "but he just ate" or "you can't be hungry again". This is the way newborns eat. They have a tiny tummy and breastmilk is quickly absorbed. It's normal.
  
• To establish a good milk supply be prepared to nurse on demand. No, not even "on demand"; nurse on whim. In the early days put the newborn to your breast for every ailment. Ok, not every problem will be solved by the breast. You will have to change some diapers and burp the baby, but really, for a newborn, the breast really does solve most problems. Nurse, nurse, nurse. It's normal.
• You won't ruin your baby by allowing him to nurse all the time. This is the way our bodies work. It's normal.
  

• Caring for a newborn is a somewhat different from caring for what most people think of when they think of babies, which is about a six month old. Six month olds are all chubby, smiley and interactive. Newborns are not. You will give yourself a lot of heart ache if you try to treat your newborn like a six month old. By this I mean, don't stress about schedules and sleeping habits. All that will sort itself out in time. Right now just following your baby's lead.
  
• Newborns want to have a clean bottom, eat, sleep and be cuddled, especially with mommy. Everything else at this point is just gravy.
  
• Newborns do not sleep through the night.  If you by some blessing get a child who will sleep for long periods (after about two weeks of age), enjoy it. But if your child is like most and won't sleep through the night for a while, try not to stress over it, and realize that it's normal.
• Let the baby sleep wherever the baby likes to sleep (safely of course). If the baby likes sleeping in the swing, bouncy seat, stroller, car seat, who cares that the baby is not sleeping in his crib, he is sleeping and so should you. Don't worry, allowing your baby to sleep wherever he wants to won't ruin your baby.
• Co-sleeping is a wonderful way to get some extra sleep in the beginning. Did you ever think that you would be able to multi-task in your sleep? Well, now you can feed the baby and catch up on your sleep all at the same time. 
• Mom's only job in the beginning is taking care of the baby and taking care of herself. Dishes, laundry, house cleaning, older kids, etc. are all the job of husband and whoever else wants to help. You feed the baby, feed yourself, sleep and try to get a shower every now and again.
  
• The best way to start calming a crying baby is to calm yourself. Remember those skills that allowed you to get through those awful labor contractions? Those are the same skills that allows you to calm yourself while holding a screaming baby. I'm not saying it's easy, but I am saying it's possible.
  

• Remember you're doing a good job. Let yourself ease into this new role.
• Let your husband find his own way with the baby. Don't micromanage him. Let him do things his way. Even if it's all wrong and that's just going to make the baby cry, leave him to it. He'll figure out his own way just like you (and you'll be glad he did!).
• Find what works for your family and do that. If no one you know of co-sleeps, but co-sleeping is working wonderfully for you, then co-sleep. And on the flip side, if you are surrounded by people that say co-sleeping is the most wonderful thing, but it's not working for you, don't do it.
  
• Trust your instincts. Remember you know your child best. You can pick up on a lot of things that others can't.
  

When was the last time you felt butterflies in your stomach?

It was probably the first time I nursed in public after Emma was born. My comfort level is much better than the I'm-never-ever-going-to-breastfeed-in-public-I-need-a-closed-room-with-just-me-and-the-baby-every-time-I-nurse camp, but I'm definitely not in the let-it-all-hang-out camp for public nursing either. I'm not a big fan of the huge cover-up, but that's just me. If that's what someone else needs to be comfortable, then by all means use it. I never understood the line of thought that says if you're not completely comfortable "letting it all hang out" when nursing in public, then you're not really pro breastfeeding.

I prefer discreet public nursing (no nursing room necessary, although I'm not opposed to nursing rooms) without a cover-up. For those without experience with this either by doing it yourself or by close experience with someone else doing it, you must be wondering how in the world that is possible. I mean, you're pulling out your boob in public for heaven's sake! Don't you at least need some kind of cover-up?! So, here's my tips for discreet and comfortable public nursing without a cover-up.

Realize that the baby's head will cover up most of your breast. When nursing this way it just looks like you are cuddling your baby.

Wear double layered clothing. This is so that when you pull your shirt up to nurse you will have another piece of clothing to cover up the rest of you (your back and any other place the baby can't hide). There are a number of different ways to accomplish this. You can wear specially made nursing clothing. I have a couple of nursing shirts and they are pretty convenient, but they can also be a bit pricey. You can also wear a tank top undershirt. Be sure to wear one that is stretchy enough to pull the neck or arm hole around your breast. I've also read the idea to take old or inexpensive shirts and cut slits where your breast are (this is how many nursing shirts work). My favorite solution by far is the Belly Hugger. It's pretty much like a tube top you wear around your belly. It's great because once you pull up your shirt there's no extra piece of clothing to move out of the way (except your bra of course).

Wear a nursing bra that can be snapped and unsnapped with one hand. You want to be able to hold the baby with one hand and fix your bra with the other hand. If you are strongly right handed or vice versa, you will want to practice doing this with your "weak" hand at home to be able to easily do it in public.

When you're getting ready to nurse in public look down at yourself and the baby. Only focus on the two of you and feeding the baby. Try not to look up and worry about your surroundings until the baby has started to feed and you've covered yourself up to your satisfaction. Looking up and down, up and down, worrying if people are looking at you or if people can see anything will only slow you down and "prolong the agony". You will be much quicker (and therefore less likely to flash anything) if you just focus on feeding the baby. It's of course alright to look up and around once you are situated and comfortable.

Here's how I do it:
When you're about to nurse the baby in public reach through the neck of your shirt and unlatch the side you're about to nurse on, just unlatch it, nothing else. Then reach under your shirt (between the layer that should cover your belly and the outer layer) and finish moving the bra out of the way. Still keep your outer shirt over your breast at this time.  With your outer shirt still down hold the baby like you are about to nurse. Once the baby is in place over your breast pull that side of your outer shirt up to give the baby access to your breast and latch the baby. Remember even though looking down you will be able to see your breast, the rest of the world won't be able to because the baby's head will be obstructing their view.  Once the baby is latched you will be able to pull you shirt down even more right to the baby's cheek.

When the baby is done (and unlatched) the first thing you will do before moving the baby is pull down the outer shirt over your breast. At this time if you have a stroller or carrier with you, you can set the baby down or if you were wearing the baby, you can just hold him/her on your lap while you "put yourself back together." Next reach under your shirt and reposition that side of your bra. This is often the part that I've found most bothersome, because it often involves repositioning and smoothing out a nursing pad with one hand and without being able to see exactly what you're doing. All I can say is that with practice it gets easier. Once you've got that side of the bra back in position then reach in through the neck of your shirt to re-latch the bra. I've found that if I try to latch and unlatch my bra reaching from the bottom of my shirt that I end up pulling up the shirt more than I would prefer. That's just me.

Practice at home in front of a mirror. This will ease any fears that you are exposing yourself in public. It will also allow you to see anything that you're doing that may expose more than you are comfortable with and let you figure out how to correct that.

For those of you with experience nursing in public, what helped you to be comfortable?

It's official, I've got an Amazon Baby. She's over 90th percentile on everything.

It's funny my first born, who weighed the same as her at birth, was always right at the 50th percentile. My second, who only weighed five ounces less at birth, was always at the lower end, around 25th percentile.

I went to a restaurant last night* and astonished a lady when I told her the baby was only six weeks old. Before this happened I would have thought I would be offended by her reaction (it was a big reaction), but when it actually happened I loved it. I just smiled and thought "yep, that's my fat, breastfed baby!" That's the thing, I think it would have freaked me out if she were formula fed. I've had varying degrees of success at breastfeeding with my other two children and both of them were eventually formula fed. If I'd been formula feeding her (and didn't already have the experience of two other kids to lean on) I'd have worries of overfeeding her, but you can't overfeed a breastfed baby. She just eats what she eats and that's the right amount for her.

*I hate going to restaurants lately. I have a three-year-old, a one-year-old and a newborn. It's not that my kids are terrors in the restaurant. They are actually pretty well behaved, but that still means telling my three-year-old to sit down and eat his food a few times, wrestle my one-year-old back into his high chair a few times (those stupid, futile buckles never hold him in) and make sure he has a never ending supply of finger foods while also consoling and nursing the baby. She always wants to cluster feed between 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. When do you think we go to restaurants? She's also a little fussy during that time. I never get to eat in the restaurant. I always take a box home. Great, cold (reheated) expensive food. This was a good idea?

I've had a crazy whirlwind of a first six weeks postpartum.

• My husband and I are the registrars for a summer camp. Every Sunday afternoon while the camp is in session we are out at camp to check kids in for registration. This year Emma went with me. She's visited the camp every week of her life since she's was born. Two of those six weeks were almost entirely spent out at camp. This will be her first entire week away from camp.
• I was never much of a baby wearer with my other two kids, but out of necessity I've been wearing Emma a lot and now I'm loving it!
• For someone that was never much of a baby wearer I have a surprisingly sizable number of baby wearing devices. I have Baby Björn (I also had a Infantino baby carrier, but I gave it away), a Maya Wrap style ring sling, a Moby Wrap and three Slinglings pouch slings.
  
• Lately I'm loving the pouch slings.
  
• Breastfeeding is thankfully going well. And because of camp, I've had a lot of practice nursing in public. It's more nerve wrecking than it should be. Thanks America!
  
• I love Belly Huggers! Turn any shirt into a nursing shirt.
• I've had a few baby blues and crazy hormonal moments, but thankfully so far nothing that looks like postpartum depression.
  
• Our family took a mini vacation to the Lipscomb Lectureships (now known as the "Summer Celebration"). It was a bittersweet experience. The campus is beautiful, the people are very friendly, staying in the dorms (for super cheap) was fun, the organizational flow of the classes and keynote speakers was great, the children's programs were wonderful... So many reasons why I would love to participate in an event like this every year, but the teachings in the classes were saddening to hear. In spite of what people tell you, you still think it can't be as bad as it's made out to be, but I was really saddened by the teachings I heard.
  
• My postpartum healing has gone very well and pretty quick this time around.
  
• Movable Type 4 will be coming out soon and I'm incredibly excited! I'm hoping the beta testing will be finished up before the new school year starts so I can install the new version for the student blogs. Seriously, I get all giddy thinking about all the stuff I'm going to be able to do with the new version. I'm a complete and hopeless geek. I can't deny it.
• And last, but not least, a gratutious baby photo:

Emma 6 Weeks

1 comment

I recently had to write this down to send in an email to an old friend of mine I was catching up with after a number of years apart. After writing it and thinking about it, I thought it would be a nice thing to document on my blog.

I went off birth control about a year after we were married, but didn't get pregnant until about two years later and then I miscarried early in that pregnancy. After about a year-and-a-half of no birth control and not getting pregnant we decided we should do something. I was getting pretty depressed. We talked about it and decided that neither of us really wanted to pursue the infertility treatments and would like to adopt instead. So we got the ball rolling with the adoption process, which basically starts off with a series of classes. We hadn't gotten far into it when I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited and happily told everyone I could. Then only a few weeks after I found out, I miscarried. How can I explain how difficult that was? It's losing a child. I know people say (and I heard people say to me) things like "At least you didn't know it longer. That would have been much worse." or "It's just a bunch of cells", but I tell you it was as painful an experience as if I lost one of my children I have today. And it stays with you. People think that once you have a healthy baby that all the pain of a miscarriage just sort of goes away, but that's not really true. I mean, like any painful experience you learn to deal with it and continue to manage your life, and slowly good days start to outnumber bad days, but it doesn't just go away when you have a "replacement"(?!) child. Anyway, after the miscarriage I had to stop everything baby related in our life. I just couldn't take it. Then about nine months after the miscarriage I got pregnant with Joel.

Joel's pregnancy was pretty uneventful (thankfully). I ended up going into labor one day shy of being induced (I was a week overdue). My total labor lasted just over 30 hours (I was only in the hospital for 12 hours of it, though). My epidural only worked on one side and I pushed for about one to two hours (I don't have a clear memory of that part, just that it was extremely painful in spite of me electing to have pain management). My postpartum period was miserable. It felt like I bled forever, I had postpartum depression and I just could not get the hang of breastfeeding. Long story short is I eventually healed, got help for my postpartum depression and switched to formula. The first three months were so rough, though. They are just a blur in my memory. I do remember shortly after coming home from the hospital that all I could think was "I don't know if I can do this again." Of course I ended up changing my mind, but that's how overwhelmed I felt at the time. I was so nervous about getting pregnant again that I went on birth control in spite of my history with infertility.

I went off birth control about six months after I had Joel hoping that perhaps sometime around his first birthday I would get pregnant. Well, Joel's first birthday came and went and I wasn't pregnant. So I just thought that maybe he would be our only child and I had to be ok with that. Of course I got pregnant again. This time with Micah.

MIcah's pregnancy was also pretty uneventful. I had normal pregnancy side effects (tired, sickness, heartburn, etc), but nothing to jeopardize me or the baby. I went into labor with him pretty close to his due date. I was so glad. I did not want to be overdue again. His labor, delivery and postpartum period were like night and day compared to Joel's. Micah's total labor was 12 hours. Only 5 of which were in the hospital. I labored at home for as long as I could and pretty much when I finally got to the hospital I was like "Ok, I'm ready for my epidural," but it took them an hour to process me, etc. to get me to the point where I receive an epidural. That was annoying to say the least, but that was by far the worst thing. When I finally got my epidural (that actually worked) I went to sleep for a few hours. I woke up when my water finally broke. The midwife came in and, I kid you not, I pushed three times and the baby was out. Yeah, a completely different experience! My postpartum period was really well also. I healed quickly, didn't have PPD and I was able to establish breastfeeding with this one. With the great experience I had with Micah I thought it would be just a waste of money to go back on birth control. It had always taken us nine months or longer to get pregnant and I was breastfeeding with Micah, so that should give me an additional buffer, right? I did end up having complications later when my milk started to dry up prematurely. I just switched to formula at that time. I wasn't interested in fighting that battle again. And shortly after that I end up getting pregnant with this latest one (much sooner than I would have ever guessed I would be).

The idea of family planning has been such a joke to us. We've wanted all of our children for certain, but "planned" them, not exactly. All of our "plans" seem to get thrown out the window as soon as they are made.